Heavens Gain…

Heaven gained another Saint this weekend as we said goodbye too soon to our little baby Hope.

On the way home from New Orleans I had a feeling and took a test. I’ll always cherish telling Courtney and the twinkle in his eye of joy after so many months that have been so challenging.

But just 4 days later we got the news from my doctor that the baby would not make it.

And as I waited to hear this news the only word that stayed strong on my heart was Hope.

Hope

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Even as my heart aches for this tiny soul to be here in my arms I hope.

Agatha was the name that was laid on Courtney heart. The word means Good. All life is good, is a blessing even if we only cherish it here for a moment it is good. The scripture that came to mind for this is:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

As I sat waiting I knew even if she did not make it God is still good and in this season more than even those are the things we must focus on…

And then my oldest chose the name Marie after my friend Elise who passed away this August as well as our blessed mother.

I can see Elise holding Hope for me. Introducing her to Stella. And Joey singing her a lullaby until I can in heaven.

Friends our hearts are sad…

I know for some it may seem weird to grieve such a tiny soul. Was she real? How do we even know it’s a girl? Why would we make time to celebrate? Why put our kids through the sadness?

Because life is a gift.

Because God is good.

Because Hope is alive in him.

Because no matter how small a life it’s eternal.

Because the communion of saints matters now more than ever

Because we prayed and chose to give love a name

We are now a family of 11. I am now a mom of 9…

And just as we celebrate and talk to Stella. Now we do the same for Hope.

Please pray for us in this time. Our hearts are heavy in loss and also at the same time there is Joy in that she is rejoicing in the presence of Jesus and watching over us on earth.

St. Stella Cecilia Joan, pray for us

St. Hope Agatha Marie, pray for us

Jesus we trust in you….